What's in a blog title, anyway?

Some days I just don't give a shit. Others, I do. Some days I don't even think about shit at all.

I refuse to let an entire year pass between blog entries, and it just so happens I'm two weeks out from that bleak hallmark. SO MUCH HAS CHANGED. (More on this in subsequent posts)

I don't know how to start the annual entry just yet. Gotta put on some music. Sit on the couch maybe. Drag the laptop around behind me like a little red wagon with Intel axles... It's times like these when I look back at the theme I've chosen for the 'blog, I reflect on what it is I'm trying to accomplish here. Why did I call it "Anxious Glimpses of Reality?" Sounds pretentious and vague and emo. I guess it suits me, after all.

What. Is. Going. On. In. The. World? It's my aim over the next rest of my life to air out my thoughts with regard to this thought in more specific ways, but this re-initial blog is to break the ice again. My last entry was about Justice (capital J), this one I think I'll reserve for Drama (capital D).

This world would be a better place if people could just say what the fuck is on their minds. Through reality TV I've learned a few things about drama. Thing #1 is that if it's salacious enough, you can package it with commercials and buy a yacht with the money you make off it.

There is no thing #2.

I'm just kidding, of course there is. Thing #2 is that Drama is a distant cousin to Truth. Truth is how we evolve as a species, Drama is how we stagnate. Think about how much time and money and energy you have to put into getting laid these days. That's Drama. If people could just say what was on their minds, we'd find out that "Hey! I wanna bang, you wanna bang, let's bang already!" They do, and they move on. How could they possibly move on, you ask? Just like that. I know it's easy for me to say, I'm married, blah blah. But I'm doing the same thing. The Truth is the quickest way to cut through the bullshit. Here's the key: you just have to be willing to accept rejection. Once you can do this, you are free. Really and truly free. It's not the end of romance. It's the beginning of something fantastic. This works everywhere, not just for sex.

Here's the mission: figure out something you want. It can be sex, a promotion, a favorite meal. Instead of hinting around at it to your partner, your boss, or your mom, just ask. Prepare yourself for the worst possible outcome. If you're reading this, I know you're smart enough to see into the future far enough to know the worst possible outcome of asking directly for what it is you're after. Instead of spending three months hinting around, being coy, aloof, pitiable, desperate... Just be honest. You will know instantly how it turns out, you didn't have to stress, or eat, or smoke, now you just know. By this point you've already prepared for the worst, so even if it is the worst that's happened as a result, you've prepared for it! Follow the course of action you've planned and save your money. I challenge everyone here to take a step back from what is stressing them out, and ask "why?"

My problem is that I am aloof. I never volunteer information (about anything). I avoid eye contact, I make people approach me. This is how I try to gain control in uncomfortable situations. I play it off by saying I'm just being observant or polite, but really, I know what's happening. Instead of just being honest with myself, I will ask leading questions and stretch a 10-second conversation into an excruciating three minutes. Afraid of looking stupid or exposing myself as an unprofessional fraud, I hide, and I stress.

No more. I understand now that I don't give a shit if appear to be a dirtbag. I believe I'm a good person. I need to stop trying to control my environment in order to make myself look good. I need to experience my environment.

Thanks, now get out there and bang.